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It has also in the past been used to describe a close relative of the fuckboy, someone who goes out of his way to prove to you he’s not a fuckboy, even though he most definitely is. This is not the first time the phrase "softboy" has entered our culture. “There’s a rejection of the traditional toxic masculinity by the younger generation, which I think is worldwide, but that has to do with why this aesthetic is so appealing,” said Belinky. The results may be mixed, but the intentions line up. No matter where it’s coming from, each incarnation represents an eschewing of traditional masculinity. Good examples of that softer K-pop boyfriend aesthetic is EXO's "Universe" or SHINee's "Sing Your Song," said Belinky.Įven K-pop groups that don't fit that specific concept, such as BTS in their latest music video, still have a softer look than Western music fans may be used to. Wearing more pastel, more muted colors, having hairstyles that are not very wild,” she said. “I would say to have a softboy comeback would be definitely more the ‘boyfriend’ look. Groups may, for example, take on a softer look or have a personality in the group more suited to a soft look. “It’s an aesthetic that’s a little more kind of established in the K-pop world,” she told BuzzFeed News. As she explains, the whole softboy look is more prevalent among K-pop idols. It would be impossible to talk about the rise of softboys and soft season as a look without examining the rise of K-pop influence in Western culture.īiju Belinky is a freelance writer and K-pop fan in London who writes a weekly column about the genre for Noisey. You could argue that it’s just the influence of typical spring style, but there’s a big elephant in the room: K-pop. Think pastels, fluffy sweaters, florals, chilling with foliage, and generally being a lil’ cutie. The typical meme is a boy dressed in a recently popular “eboy” style who magically transforms into a softboy. We’ll start with the latest addition.Īs spring rolled in to 2019 and the weather warmed, softbois began to blossom all over TikTok. But he’s not always as he appears.Ĭome with me on a softboy journey as we explore this many-faced fellow in all his forms.
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In all cases, “softboy” indicates a more tender man, someone who subverts the expectations of masculinity and claims traits that are traditionally coded as feminine. Even the most recent softboy wouldn’t exist without the growing influence of K-pop. For trans boys and men, he’s an identity to be claimed with pride by those who don’t fit a particular mold. To some, he’s also the fuckboy’s deceptive brother. At least, that’s the dream.īut the softboy has a longer history than his current form.
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He’s nonthreatening, nontoxic, and knows how to wear a pastel. The softboy is part identity, part aesthetic. On December 15, 2015, Graves revealed that he had created the character Brandon Sullivan to satirize knee-jerk reactions to controversy on the internet.With toxic masculinity under a long-overdue microscope, the time is ripe for a gentler, kinder sort of man.Įnter the softboy, also known as the softboi. For example, on December 7, 2015, user8550 posted a picture of a man saving a sea turtle to Imgur, captioned: “I Give This Man 5/7.” Within days, the 5/7 exchange spread as a meme as a humorous rating scale. The picture was reposted on aggregator website FunnyJunk and the Reddit group /r/OutoftheLoop, where it also gained immediate attention. It quickly became popular, garnering over 463,000 views in the first 48 hours, as people found the 7-based rating scale odd and arbitrary, as most systems are based out of 5 or 10. This exchange, along with other examples of Graves’ Facebook trolling, was screen-captured and shared on Imgur by user FreshPrinceofDenmark under the heading “Robert Graves: Legend” in December, 2015. Graves responded to Sullivan’s 5/7 post by remarking “ Five out of seven? I must say, this is a grading scale like no other I’ve seen before.” Sullivan defended his rating system and added: “why do you do htis on every single status i post. The term 5/7 originated on Facebook in November, 2017, when apparent user Brandon Sullivan posted the status “fight club: 5/7 movie.” Sullivan had previously been “trolled” by another Facebook user, Robert Graves, for his controversial views.